Preparing for a family mediation session
How to organise your thoughts, the practical information, and your records before meeting a family mediator, so the session stays focused on the children.
By Tina
2 min read
What mediation is for
Family mediation is a meeting, or series of meetings, where a trained mediator helps separated parents talk through arrangements and reach their own agreements. The mediator does not take sides or make decisions for you.
Mediation processes vary. Your mediator will explain how their sessions work and what, if anything, they need from you beforehand. This guide is not legal advice.
Decide what you want to discuss
Sessions are time limited, so it helps to know your priorities. Write down the two or three topics that matter most, and what a workable outcome would look like for the children.
- The regular schedule and handovers
- Holidays and special occasions
- School and health decisions
- Shared costs and how they are split
- How you communicate day to day
A draft list of topics from our guide to what to include in a parenting plan can be a useful starting point.
Gather the practical details
- 1Your work pattern and any regular commitments.
- 2The children's school timetable, clubs, and appointments.
- 3Travel times between homes and school.
- 4Current arrangements and what is and is not working.
Before the session, spend a few minutes on what the other parent is likely to want and why. It makes it easier to find options you could both accept.
Share only the records that are needed
Some mediators find a short summary helpful. Ask what they would find useful, and share that, for the relevant dates only.
In Parenting Apart, a session summary brings together a communication overview, key exchanges, patterns, and unresolved items for you to review, download, or share. You can also add a mediator as a professional and choose exactly which records they can see, then remove access afterwards. More in our guide to keeping family records in one place.
After the session
Write down what was agreed while it is fresh, and any actions each parent took away. Put agreed changes into the shared calendar or parenting plan promptly, so both homes are working from the same arrangements before the next session.
Common questions
Should I bring my messages to mediation?
What happens if we reach an agreement?
Written by Tina
Tina writes Parenting Apart guides on holiday schedules, shared expenses, and keeping family records organised, with practical steps that make arrangements between two homes easier to follow.